Truth:  My sisters and my dad are a huge inspiration to me.  All of them have started or have been getting fit, in shape, and loosing weight.   

Confession:   I feel like I'm being left behind in their dust.   

In the past this really has never bothered me much.   I normally am pretty content with myself, until I weighed myself on my Wii the other night.   Confession: I now weigh 200 lbs.   Wow... can't believe I actually put that out for everyone to see.   

Those who don't really know me that well, here is another truth.   I have never been a really "skinny" girl. I am broad and big boned but I have a serious feat ahead of me in losing weight.   I have come to the realization that I really need to get healthy and loose 35+ pounds.  

I started exercising about a little over a week ago and it is HARD!  I have gained a super amount of respect for anyone who sweats their behind off to get into shape.  I have been really trying to push myself as hard as I can muster but I won't lie, I just want to give up. Another part that is really hard is making healthy eating choices.  I know that it will take time to see results, but I'm one of those people that get discouraged easily.  I only hope that by confessing all of this it will make me want to try harder to do better and not give up.    

So here is to confessing it all and here is to a healthier me and one day fitting into some skinny jeans!  

Father's Day Speech

I hope everyone enjoyed their Father's Day, and spent time with all those important guys out there.  I had the opportunity to give a talk in church last Sunday on Father's day, and speak about my dad and share a couple stories.  I've had a request to share my written talk, so here it is:

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Fathers have been given a very special task in protecting and providing for their families.  They are strong, brave, wise, kind and gentle, but most of all they are in charge of teaching their children some of life’s most important lessons.  

With 5 daughters, including me, and no sons,  you just might think my dad would feel like he had nothing to teach us, but that is completely untrue.   My dad taught me how to shoot guns, ride four wheelers, use power tools, gut a fish, build a fire and pitch a tent, change the tire on my car, and the list goes on and on.  But he has also taught me how to be a hard worker and be responsible, to be honest and fair, to be smart and wise, to be serious but funny, to be gentle and kind, to be a friend and not judge, and to love another and let others love you.

I saw a quote the other day that said “A dad is someone who wants to catch you before you fall but instead picks you up, brushes you off and lets you try again”     I know like many dads, my dad wants to constantly stop me from making my mistakes, he may council me to choose another path but he leaves me to make my own mistakes anyways.   And then, when I make the mistake, he is there to comfort me, and tell me to try again, and again, and again.  

When I turned 15 and had just gotten my learners permit, my dad’s rule was I had to learn to drive his 3/4 ton truck before I was allowed to drive the family car.  His truck was a manual transmission, and it was not an easy truck to drive.   My dad drove me to the town’s cemetery, which was laid upon several steep hills.   He found the steepest hill there, and parked the truck near the bottom of the hill, where we were parked on a slope.   He set the E-brake, turned off the truck and told me to get in the driver’s seat.   He went over the list of things I needed to do in order to get to the top of the hill.  He told me start-her-up, put the truck into 2^nd gear and drive up the hill.  I remember thinking that driving up this hill was going to be cake.  After all it was just a hill, and he had already done some of the work for me by driving it part way up.   I had watched my dad drive that truck too many times to even count and he never struggled with a hill.   So with my confidence high, I then continued …. to kill the truck several times.  The day ended with lots tears on my part, and lots frustration on my dad’s, and I still did not know how to drive his truck. I remember coming home and crying to my mom that I couldn't do it and I that was never going to drive because driving my dad’s truck seemed so impossible. My dad thought differently, He knew that with practice I would eventually learn to drive this truck and it would soon become second nature.  My dad continued to take me to the same hill, trade me places, give me the same list of instructions and then tell me to drive up the hill in 2^nd gear.  I slowly started to get better and better every time, and the day I had finally made up the hill without killing it, he made me do it again but this time in 1^st gear. So I did, and discovered that this was much easier.  I started thinking ‘Why couldn't I do this in the first place? Why did he make me go through the struggle at first? Was he just trying to torture me? Did he like to see me cry?’ My dad must have noticed the frustrated and slightly annoyed expression on my face, because he looked at me and said something like “Now aren't you glad I made you do the hard one first” I was NOT glad.   But my dad knew that if I could do it the hard way, then everything else would be easy.     

Driving his truck was not the only time my dad seemed to torture me by making me do hard things.   As I would practice my piano pieces, he would start playing “O when the Saints, go marching in” at the bottom of the keyboard.  At first it really bothered me, and made mess up and made me lose my concentration.  I eventually would give up and walk away.   He kept pestering me while I played, and eventually, I learned to play through my piece without his playing distracting me.  It made me a better pianist.   He still does it, to this day.  

Throughout my life, my dad has made me see that I should practice, practice, practice, and try, try, again if I want to succeed.   My dad has been a true example of this.   Growing up, my dad was not an active member of the church.  He always taught me to love God and to be thankful to him for the good things in my life.  A couple years ago, my dad was ordained to the Melchizedek Priesthood.  Shortly thereafter my parents were sealed in the temple for time and all eternity in the Manti Temple.   I was able to be sealed to my parents.  That day my dad taught me that we are all given second chances, and I had never been so proud of him.  

Our fathers are wise men and want to help their children to be happy and to be successful in life, as does our Heavenly Father.   Just like my dad made me do the hard things first, God gives us commandments that may seem hard, especially to those who choose the easier way.  He does not give us these commandments to be mean, or see us cry or torture us, but because he loves us and wants us to learn and grow, and be stronger.   If we keep his commandments and choose the right, and we do the hard things first, then everything else in life will seem easy.   Our Heavenly Father is the father of us all.  He wants us all to succeed, he knows we are going to make mistakes and he knows that sometimes we will make bad choices.  He will counsel us to choose better paths, but leaves us to make our own mistakes.   And then when have made our mistakes and have hit the ground, he is always there to pick us up, dust us off and helps try again.  

I know our Heavenly Father loves us.  He has given us fathers, who have the power of the priesthood, and who able to teach us and lead us the way back to our home in heaven.  He has given us temples, a way for us to be with our families forever. He gave us commandments and asks us to be obedient so that when temptations cross our paths we will not be easily swayed.    He gave us Christ, and the Atonement, so we are able to be forgiven of our sins and that we may try again.   This father’s day not only am I thankful for the amazing men in my life, but I am especially thankful to Heavenly Father for the life he has provided for us all.

THAT kind of person

I just finished up with our annual "Rock Show" this weekend.   Now I'm not talking like head banging rock, but actual rocks, like minerals.  Now you are probably thinking, "Britt, I did not know you were THAT kind of person".   How do I know this?  Because as I was sitting at our booth, people I know would come by and say that same thing, or something similar.

Confession:  YES!!! I am THAT person who really really likes ROCKS! 

Truth:  I actually LOVE Rocks!   

Truth: As much as I love rocks, I don't know the first thing about them.  

Okay I am semi-knowledgeable, I have been involved with them for about 11 years (thanks to my Bro-in-Law Pat) but I still feel like there is so much more I don't know. I hate it when people ask me stuff because half the time I can't answer them.   Even though I may not be out on the desert hunting for stones and fossils, make no mistake, I really do love rocks, especially fossils, they absolutely fascinate me.   

But enough about how much I like rocks, and back to my point of being "that" person.  After I was told this (a few times)  it got me thinking..... aren't we all "THAT" kind of person.   Don't we all have our little things, likes or hobbies that most people would have no clue about, even friends we are sort of close with?  Which reminds me to another thing about me that people don't usually know.

Confession: I listen to heavy metal with my husband.  

Truth #1:  I actually kind of like it

Truth #2: I will not admit this to most people. 

Now I've confessed that I'm a rock nerd and a metal head...... I want to leave you with this last thought:   Next time you start to think to say "I didn't know you were THAT person", think first about what kind of person you are ..... we all have our quirks and secrets.   What are yours?  

Fear

Fear, everyone is afraid of something.   I actually have a lot of fears which I guess has contributed to my PWS - psychopathic worrying syndrome (I made that up...... haha).  I'm going to share a couple of my fears with you.

Confession:  I don't like driving at night.
Truth is I'm especially afraid of hitting a deer.  I actually like deer.   I would just rather see deer from my 4 wheeler, or in my dinner or on my wall, rather than a hood ornament for my car.    Why is it that deer decide the best time for them to cross the busy road is in the middle of the night?   It's like they are attracted to your headlights, just like bugs are attracted to your zapper on the porch.   So they jump out in front of your car, and despite the sound of you laying on your horn and the brightness of the headlights, the deer just stands there mesmerized.   Its like they are thinking "These two lights are getting bigger and brighter, a coming at me fast. What is that noise? These lights are just so amazing I must keep staring at them,  although I have a feeling maybe I should jump out of the way, but I get a happy feeling when I look at the lights, but that sound makes me want to run.... hmmm what should I do..... so pretty........" WHACK!  then they are road kill and your white car just got a new red paint job with patches of fur.  Out of all the mysteries of this world.... I will never understand why deer go all kamikaze and jump in front of your car.

MOVING ON..............................

Confession:  Not much unlike my first confession, but I'm a little afraid of the dark.
Truth is bad things always happen in the dark.
To make me feel better about my fear I've made a list about it.

1. Boogie Man-  Now I'm talking about the REAL boogie man, like the creeper who lives down the street, who is probably high, and going to break into your house and steal your stuff or murder you in your sleep.   Okay I might not have a creeper on my block, but YOU NEVER KNOW, and it happens to people all the time!  
2. Monsters in the Closet/ under the bed-  Okay so I may not be a 3 year old who is scared that a big furry monster is going jump out and scare me.  But I am worried about those little furry ones that have the long tails (mice) and spreading diseases around my house in my sleep.  Or the creepy-crawly bugs that somehow find their way into your warm house, and sometimes into your bed at night.  Which reminds me of the spiders you probably eat in your sleep.  Yeah......I think it is legit to worry about the monsters.
3. Ghosts/Spirits-  Yes I'm a believer in them!  Especially after an episode of Ghost Whispers and then you suddenly feel like someone is watching you, or you hear steps behind you.  I've never seen a ghost or a spirit but I know that I've had them in my house.   They like play on me, I guess 'cause I'm easy prey, like slamming the cupboard or knocking on my bedroom door.  It is NOT my imagination.....  I don't think. 
4. Sounds-   Anyone else hear things at night that freaks them out?  It's usually nothing but what if it was?  The occasional thump on the wall, thud on the floor, scrape of the window.  Usually there is an explanation but its dark, and usually you can't see what made the noise, which will cause your mind to think of all the things it could be (see the above).

Please forgive me if these are silly and random, but it's 1:30 a.m.but I just got home from almost hitting a deer and I'm scared of the dark.  What else would you expect from someone with severe PWS.  ;)